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Mar 24, 2010

The iBag...

Hey Kids, It's the iBag Zip-lock Protector™ for Your iPhone!

I don't know about you but whenever I go out a paintin' en plein air I get messy oil color all over my hands. Dunno how. Just happens. And when I'm out in the field and get an important gallery call I can't miss, I used to try and wipe off the gunk on my trowser leg before gingerly pulling out my iPhone™.

But I'd never make it in time. Never. I'd always missed that call!

So, What to do?

One day I was cleaning up the kitchen, instead of my brushes, which always surprises the wife, when I noticed she had recently purchased some half-sized zip-lock snack bags for the kids. And I experienced a brain-flash. I could put my iPhone™ in one of those bags, take it painting, and then slip it part-ways out whenever it rang.

Obviously I had to test this genius idea!

Wow! I found the iPhone's™ touch-sensitive screen still worked when enclosed by the bag, so I didn't even have to slip it part-ways out! Then I discovered something even more better! Better than even more better! I COULD MAKE PHONE CALLS, TALK, AND LISTEN RIGHT THROUGH THE BAG!!!

- - - -
So Voila!
Introducing the
iBag Zip-Lock Protector ™ 
Only $19.99 a bag! 
And, if you order right now, I'll sell you a ten-pack for the low, low cost of $149.97. I'll also throw in an additional mini-pack of five more bags with a special brass hook so you can conveniently hang the phone off the side of your French easel or pochade box! (What a deal! All neatly packaged up in yet another re-useable zip-lock bag, of course.) 

All this for just three easy payments of $49.99 each! 
(Shipping and Handling extra)

Order now as I expect my idea to become a zillion dollar seller to the most discerning and fashionable plein air markets!!!

Product Disclaimer: Not limited to the iPhone, the iPhone G, the iPhone GS, the iPod or other Apple product. Will probably work for other smart phones as well. In a pinch, the iBag™ will also organize assorted candy, gorp, carrot sticks, and your mother's home baked goodies. But not at the same time as your phone. This iBag Franchise TAKES NO RESPONSIBILITY for damage caused by melted chocolate, carrot juice, field mice and/or chipmunks attracted by your mother's home baked goodies. Purchaser uses an iBag at their own risk. Your result may vary. Keep away from young children. This is not a toy, nor is it suitable for use as a temporary flotation device. The iBag is not intended for underwater painting. Offshore copycat-marketers will be prosecuted to the limits of international law. This means you!

But Wait! WAIT! There's More! . . .

If you order now you'll also receive a discount certificate 
for the next big thing:

The iPad Bag 
Offering the plein air artist the most robust, super-sized, hefty-weight zip-lock protection for your eBook reader. Safely flip the pages of  your Kevin McPherson and John F. Carlson ebooks while holding a paint brush in your hand! Follow along with a 'pirated' step-by-step DVD procedural under God's own natural light! Available whenever that dang iPad™ is released and any of us are dumb enough to bring one out into the field!

- - - -

Ring! Ring! 

'Gotta go now! It's a big Patron calling! Time to put the brush down and answer the phone!

Thomas Kitts
President, Inventor,
and Sole Distributer of
iPhone Zip-Lock Paint Protector™
and soon, The iBag™!

9 reader comments:

Anitra said...

um, so, how is the sleep deprivation thing working out for you? (hugs)

your snotty snarky older sister

Anitra said...

ps actually looks like a great solution!

Karen Lewis said...

Oh, that is good.

Mine is a flip-up phone. What do you have for that? I can't exactly open it in the bag and leave it off the hook.


Thomas Jefferson Kitts said...

Okay Karen, you got me on that one. I'll have to send your question back to the boys in the Research and Development department. (Ha!)


Celeste Bergin said...

cute picture of you Thomas...! ..I'll pass on your genius invention. I like paint on everything. Yeah. It's art-y. If you don't have paint on everything you can be mistaken as a business person. Where is your inner bohemian?

Nancy Cuevas said...

haha...thanks for the idea.. didnt have the snack bags but had cling wrap. it works great! :)

Thomas Jefferson Kitts said...

Cling Wrap? Great idea. Hadn't thought of that. Ha!


Larry Carter said...

Too funny! Thanks for the laugh.

Brenda Boylan said...

That was the best commercial I have ever read on the net! I'm sure Apple or ATT may offer you some serious cash.
Thanks for the laughs! Hope to see you out in the field someday.